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The Woes of Valentine’s Day

Who invented Valentine’s Day? Some secret corporate conglomerate trying to make money off people by selling more chocolate and flowers? Well, a quick google search results in some fascinating history about Valentine’s Day that might be worth a read if you are bored.The challenge that many couples face is that whether they do or don’t make the effort, it might cause tension either way. Here are some thoughts to consider to avoid making Valentine’s Day so perilous.

1) Consider whether this day is important to your partner or not. And if so, be sure to take note of it and mark it in your calendar every year (with a reminder alert at least a week in advance so you don’t miss it) and THOUGHTFULLY plan ahead with something that demonstrates that you know how they personally feel most loved; whether that involves candy and flowers or maybe just a meaningful card.

2) If it’s not an important day for you, let your partner know that and discuss whether it might be an option for both of you to consider it a day like any other day so that no one, not even the calendar, can tell you that you need to show love to each other just one day a year.

3) Show your partner that you care about them and think about them throughout the year, not just on Valentine’s Day. This way, when the fateful day arrives, you will receive more good will and fewer eye daggers in the back if you somehow forget to do anything.

4) Remember that there are multiple ways to show love and if you want to make the “biggest bang for your buck” consider your partners’ top love languages. Here’s a way you can find out yours and have your partner find out theirs

A day devoted to appreciating your loved ones is a reminder to celebrate and appreciate them for being in your life, whether it’s a significant other, a child, friend, or a life-long partner. Hope it’s a good one!


Ellie Hsieh, LMFT